he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
if only i could text you this smell
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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