You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
