those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think my fart just growled at me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
