Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
