Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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