You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She's JV to your varsity
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
