I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
