I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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