Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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