i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize