i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
