How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize