someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
