come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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