Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
