I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My dick has a subreddit
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize