I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
