Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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