why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
