shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
