the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
