Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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