was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Let's paint friendship bongs
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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