Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
