actually, I'm a sock model
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She told me I should be a condom model.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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