yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
