I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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