Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
