airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
