we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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