My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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