we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
