Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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