you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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