And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
