dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
