there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
