Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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