In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
