Duck Duck Cougar?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
