dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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