i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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