what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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