I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
birth control should be required to get into college
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
