That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
