Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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