we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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