Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize