32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
