i barfeds in our rink
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How external is "for external use only"?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
