There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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