I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
