just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
