Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
