I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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