Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize