She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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