So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
