return my video game
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
