chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
