my sisters under your porch take her home
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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