honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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